00:25.5
I'm Broly. Hello po.
00:28.0
In my generation, it was like motherhood or birthing was a necessary step after marriage.
00:38.0
It was as if if you didn't have children, it was as if you made the wrong choice.
00:43.0
Millennial mothers are trying to be more present, more involved.
00:48.5
Kung ano man yung parang kulang sa pagpapalaki ng moms namin sa amin.
00:54.5
So, that's something we're trying to repair.
00:56.5
Some are overdoing it.
00:58.5
Madami sa age namin or generation talaga is ayaw na ng motherhood.
01:04.5
Kasi bukod sa mahirap, financially, hindi na ganun kadali ngayong generation.
01:09.5
Your parents would say na, oh, it's okay.
01:12.5
Just have babies and we'll, you know, everything will be taken care of after.
01:20.5
Being a housewife is outdated.
01:28.5
Pangarap ko to eh.
01:30.5
Pangarap ko rin yan.
01:31.5
Pangarap ko maging passenger princess, soft girl, hindi independent woman.
01:37.5
Pangarap ko to eh.
01:39.5
Pero hindi natupas.
01:43.5
Ginawa ko rin naman na maghanda ng baon para sa lahat sa lahat.
01:47.5
Eh, ginawa ko rin pero umalis ako ng baon para magtrabaho.
01:54.5
But I don't want to say it's outdated.
01:56.5
It's outdated because it is a very noble profession by itself.
02:02.5
I mean, we've experienced that during the pandemic.
02:05.5
Being in the house and, you know, taking care of them 24-7.
02:10.5
Wala kang me-time ng work, di ba?
02:12.5
Mas mahirap, di ba?
02:16.5
It's also a dream, to be honest.
02:18.5
When I drove, Kimmy said na ayoko na maging strong independent woman.
02:21.5
Beyonce, ayoko na.
02:22.5
Ayoko na maging Beyonce.
02:24.5
Gusto ko na maging dalagang Pilipina.
02:27.5
Dati nung dalaga, parang nung kinasal kami, parang gawin mo lang housewife.
02:32.5
Parang awa mo na, bahay na lang ako.
02:35.5
Gusto ko na mag-relax, relax.
02:37.5
Eh, pero nung nag-three months na maternity leave, parang gusto ko na lumabas.
02:42.5
Hindi ko kaya dito sa bahay.
02:45.5
Sobrang saludo po sa mama ko.
02:48.5
Housewife siya for so long.
02:51.5
Sobrang doon ko lang na-realize.
02:53.5
Ang grabe pala, parang inuuna niya pala talaga kami lagi.
02:57.5
I can't, I can't afford not to, not to work.
03:00.5
So, yung pagiging housewife na yan, hindi siya outdated.
03:03.5
Kailangan lang natin silang tulungan.
03:05.5
Kailangan lang natin silang i-appreciate.
03:07.5
Lalo na yung mga super macho fathers diyan.
03:11.5
Na, na pag uuwi yung, ah, hindi pa ako, wala silang pagkain ko.
03:17.5
Kato yung hubo ako.
03:20.5
I-appreciate lang because it's, it's difficult.
03:23.5
Talagang nakakabaliw siya.
03:25.5
Social media does more harm than good for children.
03:34.5
No, kasi with social media, like whether it's TikTok, YouTube, or whatever, parang nakakabilim.
03:43.5
Kahit na nga yung tayo, nauuto.
03:47.5
We tend to believe, what more are kids?
03:51.5
Parang nagkakaroon na sila tuloy ng ibang vision kung ano yung mundo.
03:55.5
On how, on how real life is.
03:58.5
On what life really is.
04:00.5
I found out the hard way kung ano yung pros and cons of letting my kids have social media.
04:06.5
So, yung nine-year-old ko kasi, nine-year-old girl is interested in arts.
04:12.5
She was scrolling through TikTok seeing this mga parang mga tutorials.
04:16.5
So, kami ng tatay parang, uy, ang galing.
04:18.5
Uy, ang galing yung drawing ng mata.
04:19.5
Mas magaling ka pa sa amin.
04:21.5
Natutuwa kami kasi naging useful.
04:23.5
And then, until such time na parang, sorry ah, totoo naman.
04:28.5
Sinilip ko kasi minsan.
04:29.5
Kasi phone ko naman yun eh.
04:31.5
Hiniram lang naman yan.
04:32.5
Hindi naman kanya yun.
04:33.5
So, sinilip ko rin.
04:36.5
May mga ka-message na hindi ko kakilala.
04:39.5
Ginagamit niya yung messenger niya to talk to her classmates.
04:41.5
And I'm not liking what the conversation is leaning towards to.
04:45.5
Kasi dati, slime videos.
04:50.5
Pero nung papunta na sa parang yung gumagawa ng slime.
04:53.5
Sabi ko, ASMR na parang iba na yung dating.
04:56.5
Parang may pagkabastos na sabi ko, hindi na to okay.
04:59.5
And then, yung sa six-year-old ko naman.
05:01.5
Mama, I was busy eh.
05:03.5
So, I wasn't really listening.
05:05.5
Mama, what's a glory hole?
05:09.5
So, ako, siguro nag-isulat ako, glory.
05:13.5
What are you watching?
05:16.5
Doon na ako parang,
05:18.5
nag-panic na ako.
05:19.5
Sabi ko na sa tatay, parang,
05:21.5
ay, aking na yung cellphone na yan.
05:23.5
Kailangan pala talaga katabi ko.
05:25.5
Akala ko dati, parang,
05:27.5
nanonood ako dati ng TV,
05:28.5
higit naman katabi yung parents ko.
05:31.5
Ayoko, baby pa yung sa'yo.
05:34.5
Pero mayroon din akong mga pamangkin kasi sa bahay.
05:36.5
Sa kanila naman, yung patience nila yung parang naano nung social media.
05:40.5
Kasi with TikTok, parang mayroon 10 seconds lang na video.
05:43.5
So, kunyari movie or
05:45.5
kailangan namin mag-stay na,
05:47.5
manood ng matagal.
05:49.5
Wala na yung patience nila.
05:50.5
Sobrang, ayoko na yan.
05:52.5
Lipat muna. Next muna.
05:53.5
So, yung patience nila yung napapansin ko na parang,
05:55.5
ang bilis naman mag-ano nung mga bata ngayon.
05:58.5
Parang, ang bilis niya naman mabored.
06:00.5
Ano yung lack of focus niya?
06:02.5
Yes. Tapos, di ba?
06:04.5
Swipe lang ng swipe.
06:05.5
Pag ayaw, okay, swipe.
06:06.5
Tapos, pag may ads, galit.
06:08.5
Nagkagalit sila sa ads.
06:09.5
Kaya ako doon sa baby ko,
06:11.5
sabi ko talaga, nanego.
06:13.5
Nanego wala muna.
06:14.5
Kasi nasa development,
06:16.5
ano pa siya yung stage pa.
06:17.5
Kasi ayoko na magaya siya na parang,
06:20.5
You should always put your children above yourself.
06:29.5
So, in the middle ako din.
06:30.5
Although, parate kong palpak dyan.
06:35.5
Pero, kailangan, sana hindi.
06:39.5
Kasi, if you also don't consider your own health,
06:43.5
or the way you feel,
06:45.5
hindi rin maganda yung pakikitungo mo sa kids mo.
06:49.5
That's the ideal.
06:52.5
Marami akong palpak dyan.
06:55.5
Sa mga bagay tulad ng,
06:57.5
kunwari, pagkain.
06:58.5
Yung, di ba may kasabihan mo na parang,
07:00.5
isusubo mo na lang, bibigay mo pa.
07:02.5
Ako sa ganun, I gladly do that for them.
07:05.5
Kasi parang, di ba?
07:08.5
Pero, may isang example ako na parang,
07:11.5
pag gumakain ako ng fried chicken,
07:12.5
yung skin, tinatagal ko yun.
07:14.5
Tapos, tinatabi ko yun.
07:16.5
Kasi, yun yung huling subo ko.
07:18.5
Suscook ko yung gravy.
07:20.5
Yun yung parang, piece the resistance.
07:22.5
Sine-save ko for myself.
07:24.5
And then, nung lumaki na yung daughter ko,
07:27.5
bigyan mo namang isang araw,
07:31.5
Hindi siya nagpaalam.
07:32.5
Tapos, gusto ko umiiyak.
07:34.5
Ang babaw, di ba po?
07:36.5
Pero, sabi ko, sige, sige.
07:38.5
Nanay na nga talaga ako sa iyo na yan.
07:40.5
Doon ako sa always, hindi agree.
07:43.5
Most of the time,
07:44.5
you should put your kids above yourself.
07:47.5
Yun, in my case, since I'm a working mom,
07:50.5
hindi ko afford talaga to put them
07:55.5
always above myself.
07:57.5
Paano ko ba explain?
07:58.5
Kasi, parang nangyari tuloy yung trabaho,
08:01.5
Yun na yung me-time ko.
08:04.5
Doon ako magre-relax.
08:06.5
Kasi, paggating mo sa bahay,
08:08.5
sila na dapat talaga yung, sila na yun na eh.
08:11.5
And then, nasira pa yung,
08:13.5
naulo ko nitong pandemic
08:14.5
because I had to work from home.
08:16.5
Doon ako sa always may problema
08:18.5
because I realized,
08:19.5
I look at my life as a woman,
08:21.5
as a pizza, parang pizza.
08:24.5
So, I would divide myself into slices.
08:27.5
Parang yung slice na yun, yun na yung sanity ko.
08:30.5
How do I keep my sanity?
08:31.5
How do I not put them above myself all the time?
08:34.5
I hang out with my friends,
08:36.5
even though sometimes parang I feel bad
08:39.5
because the kids would say,
08:43.5
Anak, ako lang muna, ako lang.
08:45.5
But if I don't put myself above them sometimes,
08:50.5
I think, I honestly think I will go crazy.
08:53.5
And it will rebound on them negatively
08:57.5
as in I will not be a good mother,
08:59.5
I will be horrible,
09:00.5
I will ruin their lives.
09:01.5
Three month old pa lang yung baby ko.
09:03.5
Tapos parang working na ako na corporate six years.
09:06.5
So, parang yung buong six years ko after graduation,
09:10.5
ganun na kasi yung buhay ko eh.
09:12.5
So, nung pinanganak ko siya,
09:15.5
parang sobra yung transition na parang
09:18.5
identity ko na yung work ko for that long.
09:21.5
Tapos, parang same din po sa inyo na parang
09:23.5
ang sanity ko na lang is yung work.
09:25.5
So, parang matatapos na yung maternity leave ko.
09:28.5
Sad ako kasi may iwan ko siya.
09:30.5
Pero happy ako kasi parang makukuha ko na yung life ko talaga.
09:33.5
Parang dapat ba siya yung unahin ko?
09:36.5
Kasi parang may debate din kami na
09:38.5
dapat ba mag-resign ka na?
09:40.5
Parang lagi ka na lang nasa bahay
09:44.5
Parang pagka nag-stay, nag-full time,
09:46.5
mama ko feeling ko mababaliw naman ako
09:48.5
pero gusto ko siyang alagaan.
09:51.5
Pero paano naman ako?
09:53.5
Parang ito na ako eh.
09:54.5
Identity ko na ito for so long.
09:56.5
Parang gusto ko nang bawiin yung buhay ko dati.
09:59.5
Parang gusto ko lang na ito na yung ano.
10:02.5
Parang para sa akin. Ibigay mo na.
10:04.5
I just want us to feel good about this ha.
10:08.5
Na it's good that we also know.
10:10.5
That we take care of ourselves first before
10:12.5
when we deal with them.
10:14.5
Because we present better selves to them eh.
10:17.5
They learn more through modeling from us.
10:20.5
So if that is the self that we present to them
10:23.5
and we're confident and
10:29.5
So I think those are the types of children
10:32.5
that we will also raise.
10:34.5
I'm curious because your kids are older.
10:36.5
Do they, yung sinasabi mong ganyan na parang
10:38.5
present better versions of ourselves to them?
10:41.5
Do they see that?
10:42.5
Nakikita ko yun na nakikita na nila ngayon.
10:44.5
Nakikita ko because honestly I can tell you that
10:47.5
my kids are better versions of me.
10:53.5
Therapy ba? Therapy ba to?
10:58.5
Debes, you should be friends with your child.
11:05.5
But okay, at the same time,
11:07.5
not to the point of being too friendly
11:11.5
that you lose yourself as a mother to her.
11:15.5
You should be a friend because I,
11:18.5
in the sense that I have to see my child as a person
11:22.5
and not just somebody I reared and someone lower than me.
11:26.5
Hindi, kailangan kapantay ko rin siya.
11:29.5
And that's how you see him or her grow.
11:32.5
But then at the same time,
11:33.5
huwag naman masyadong barkada.
11:36.5
Na your child cannot,
11:41.5
Your child cannot see you as mother anymore.
11:47.5
Tama po kayo na friends but not BFFs.
11:50.5
Yun siguro yung line ni Fernie.
11:52.5
But then with my daughter,
11:53.5
I find that this is a very tricky situation.
11:57.5
Kasi parang, syempre friends kami.
12:00.5
As much as possible,
12:01.5
sinamahan ko siya sa isang,
12:03.5
dumating dito yung mga Koreans sa isang concert.
12:05.5
Sige, maglabas tayo ng pera, tara.
12:09.5
Kahit hindi ko alam alamin.
12:13.5
the more important part of being a friend to my kids,
12:16.5
especially my daughter is,
12:18.5
gusto ko takbuhan ako.
12:20.5
It took a while for me to become friends with my children.
12:27.5
Kasi yun naman, as you said na,
12:29.5
like you're a nine-year-old,
12:31.5
they build their own worlds na.
12:34.5
Their peers or their friends become more important.
12:44.5
And you cannot stop that
12:45.5
because that's how it is in their world.
12:49.5
And I always pray about this.
12:52.5
There's always an incident or a story in their lives
12:55.5
where you are needed most.
12:59.5
I guess we just have to pray that we will be there
13:02.5
when that time comes.
13:03.5
That we can be their friend.
13:07.5
We will be their safe spaces.
13:10.5
Better than their friends.
13:12.5
There was a time,
13:14.5
hindi ko alam na may nangyayari na pala sa anak ko.
13:20.5
And yes, we cannot really be there at all times.
13:23.5
And even if we pray that,
13:24.5
please dear Lord, please guard them.
13:27.5
But something happens.
13:29.5
And it's up to you
13:36.5
Because if I reacted
13:38.5
in the most natural way,
13:41.5
we will not be friends.
13:43.5
And the more he or she will be distant from you
13:47.5
because you are not any help.
13:53.5
I think I'm your child.
13:57.5
I found my purpose when I had my children.
14:04.5
Sa kaya lang nag-pause ako eh.
14:07.5
Me personally, I did.
14:11.5
Ako lang yung no.
14:13.5
Ako kasi siguro number one,
14:16.5
baka hindi ko pa talaga nasagot yung tanong na yun.
14:18.5
What's your purpose?
14:19.5
I haven't really, I don't know.
14:22.5
I still don't know at my age of 40.
14:25.5
I don't know what my purpose truly is.
14:28.5
But having children, having a family,
14:30.5
doing well in work,
14:32.5
those are all part of my purpose.
14:35.5
Inirephrase ko na lang yan for myself and
14:38.5
I'll say my children allowed me,
14:41.5
or yung mga anak ko are my second chance.
14:44.5
I would say they're my second chance to
14:48.5
kung ano man yung mga pagkukulang ko sa sarili ko even.
14:51.5
Meron kasi tayong pagkukulang din sa self natin, diba?
14:54.5
We were not, maybe at some point in our lives,
14:56.5
we were not too kind to ourselves.
14:58.5
So parang sa akin,
14:59.5
yung mga bagay na ginawa kong maling gano'n,
15:03.5
yun yung second chance ko na ayusin sa kanila.
15:06.5
My relationship with my mother was not
15:08.5
what I would have wished for, I would say.
15:13.5
So second chance ko yung children ko,
15:15.5
yun ang tingin ko talaga sa kanila,
15:18.5
hindi sa purpose ko,
15:20.5
nasagot ko yung purpose ko sa life ko nung dumating sila.
15:23.5
Because I think yun nga eh,
15:25.5
I like what I do with work,
15:27.5
gustong gusto ko yung hobbies ko.
15:29.5
And sila yung mga anak ko,
15:30.5
sila yung nagpapasaya pa lalo nun.
15:32.5
Like yun nga, for example,
15:33.5
one of my hobbies is I like to go surfing.
15:36.5
So sinasama ko sila
15:38.5
and yung things that I used to enjoy,
15:41.5
mas sumasaya dahil kasama ko na sila, diba?
15:44.5
So yun, yun siguro yung sagot ko.
15:46.5
My family is unique.
15:48.5
Okay, marami kami eh.
15:50.5
Unique ang pagkakaanak ko.
15:55.5
My first was one, single.
15:58.5
Tapos triplets, tapos single.
16:02.5
Dapat hindi ko pa sinabi yan.
16:04.5
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
16:06.5
But I think what is...
16:08.5
What was even more challenging was
16:11.5
two of my triplets have special needs.
16:15.5
Okay, award goes to an award.
16:20.5
That's how I also discovered myself more.
16:24.5
Even if, let's say that
16:28.5
I have done a lot already
16:36.5
I learned more from them.
16:39.5
Mas naging tao ako dahil sa kanila.
16:42.5
And I have to thank all my children for that.
16:46.5
To some, they'll say,
16:48.5
Napaka-martir mo naman.
16:51.5
I don't think it's...
16:54.5
Becoming a martyr or
16:56.5
taking all these challenges.
16:59.5
I learned more about them.
17:01.5
I learned more about
17:02.5
becoming kind, compassionate.
17:05.5
Because their lives are so simple.
17:09.5
Eh yun naman dapat lang talaga.
17:11.5
Tayo lang nag-complicate na things.
17:14.5
And to make it, you know,
17:18.5
You know, just to go back to that core,
17:21.5
I think I found my purpose because of them.
17:26.5
Just to share din.
17:27.5
Parang galing din ako sa
17:32.5
Tapos kaming dalawa sa dulo.
17:34.5
Kami yung barang tag-team talaga.
17:36.5
So parang independent ako palagi.
17:39.5
Parang siya lang yung
17:45.5
Nag-work or full-time mom.
17:47.5
Pero focus talaga dun siya sa pangalawa kong kapatid.
17:51.5
Kasi sakit ng ulo.
17:57.5
Tapos yung dad ko nasa ibang bansa.
17:59.5
So for the longest time,
18:01.5
parang lagi akong nagsisearch na
18:04.5
wala akong family,
18:06.5
wala akong mapupuntahan pag ganitong gathering,
18:08.5
o kaya wala akong kasama.
18:09.5
Habang naiiyak pa ang taong to.
18:14.5
Wala akong kasama ba lagi? Ganyan.
18:16.5
So parang nung dumating na,
18:18.5
feeling ko mayroon akong own.
18:24.5
Maganda na kong kaya.
18:29.5
Parang feeling ko,
18:35.5
ang dami kong sinerch na tao.
18:39.5
nag-jump ako relationship to relationship.
18:41.5
Parang lang ma-find yun.
18:45.5
Parang nung dumating na,
18:47.5
meron akong sarili.
18:48.5
May kasama na ako sa Pasko,
18:58.5
Mothers really know best?
19:07.5
Oo, kasi paglabas ko tatahan niya.
19:11.5
Hindi niya kasi mapatahan niya.
19:15.5
I used to think that that was not true.
19:19.5
Alam mo, may infection niyang ilaw ko.
19:22.5
Mayroon ako yung ano.
19:26.5
Hindi, kayo ko to.
19:27.5
Tatawid ako ng ilaw niya.
19:28.5
Ako, sobrang angsty teen girl ako.
19:31.5
yun nga, may mommy issues talaga ako.
19:34.5
And I used to think na,
19:36.5
imposibleng alam mo yung tama for me.
19:38.5
Kasi hindi mo nga ako,
19:40.5
hindi mo naman talaga alam kung anong gusto ko eh.
19:43.5
But now, looking back,
19:47.5
And my mom died in,
19:58.5
so that I will not make mistakes.
20:01.5
To save, you know,
20:02.5
to save myself some trouble.
20:04.5
I will only learn as I grow along.
20:08.5
I will learn from you,
20:10.5
and people like you,
20:14.5
when I'm in those weak moments
20:20.5
Hindi ko alam ito.
20:21.5
So magdadasa na lang ako na,
20:22.5
maitawid ko lang ito.
20:23.5
Maitawid ko lang ito.
20:24.5
Masolusyon lang ko lang ito for today.
20:26.5
Okay na ako, diba?
20:31.5
I believe that my mother knew best.
20:35.5
I'm not going to discount the fathers
20:39.5
who are very good in parenting their children
20:42.5
that they know best.
20:44.5
But in my personal experience,
20:46.5
my mother knew best.
20:48.5
Totoo rin pala yung kasabihan
20:50.5
na you grow like your mom
20:56.5
I'm tending to act like her,
20:58.5
I'm tending to laugh like her,
21:02.5
Say the same things she used to say.
21:05.5
The same things she told me,
21:12.5
I can say my experience,
21:14.5
my mother knew the best.
21:16.5
she passed away many years ago.
21:20.5
I still feel her.
21:23.5
whenever there's something good
21:25.5
or if I feel that I was saved,
21:27.5
I would always say,
21:38.5
Ang ganda na ng mother's instinct po.
21:40.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:42.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:43.5
Happy Mother's Day.
21:44.5
Happy Mother's Day.
